I Hate Kibble – Dog Food Song

Performed live at “Folk at the Oak” in Crick. When the vet recommended that my border collie, Oscar be fed dried dog-food instead of canned dog-meat, the poor puppy was not best pleased, and insisted that I express his feelings by way of this song. I hate kibble, bleedin’ kibble. I get kibble every day. Food police say dog meat’s rubbish; and they took my chum away. I got squittery; boss got jittery, vet said he should start to feed Me kibble every day ’cause it has all the nutrients I need; Said that in a tin of dog food only four percent is meat; Almost all the rest is moisture: just a waste of 60p! I hate kibble, bleedin’ kibble. I get kibble every day. I love dog meat ’cause it’s tasty; don’t care what the experts say. Dinner time: and I was waiting, salivating happily When what looked like lots of pebbles were put down in front of me. I’m suspicious, but “It’s delicious” — so my master promises me; “Full of turkey, rice and goodness. Try it, boy, and you’ll soon see.” It was crunchy, so I munched it all up uncomplainingly. Didn’t taste of much but that’s just how life goes for dogs like me. I’d been nobbled, ’cause I gobbled up that first lot trustingly; Got a shock when on the next day it was served again for tea. I hate kibble, bleedin’ kibble. I get kibble every day. What became of Bounce and Lassie, dog-food of my yesterdays? No use grumbling, tummy’s rumbling, eat it all reluctantly. Can’t believe my master then says, “You enjoyed that, I can see! Meaty chunks …